They desired no companionship beyond their own, and it was evil for any
man of the regiment who attempted dispute with them. Physical argument
was out of the question as regarded Mulvaney and the Yorkshireman; and
assault on Ortheris meant a combined attack from these twain--a business
which no five men were anxious to have on their hands. Therefore they
flourished, sharing their drinks, their tobacco, and their money; good
luck and evil; battle and the chances of death; life and the chances of
happiness from Calicut in southern, to Peshawur in northern India.
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Through no merit of my own it was my good fortune to be in a measure
admitted to their friendship--frankly by Mulvaney from the beginning,
sullenly and with reluctance by Learoyd, and suspiciously by Ortheris,
who held to it that no man not in the Army could fraternise with a red-
coat. 'Like to like,' said he. 'I'm a bloomin' sodger--he's a bloomin'
civilian. 'Tain't natural--that's all.'
But that was not all. They thawed progressively, and in the thawing told
me more of their lives and adventures than I am ever likely to write.
Omitting all else, this tale begins with the Lamentable Thirst that was
at the beginning of First Causes. Never was such a thirst--Mulvaney told
me so. They kicked against their compulsory virtue, but the attempt was
only successful in the case of Ortheris. He, whose talents were many,
went forth into the highways and stole a dog from a 'civilian'--
videlicet, some one, he knew not who, not in the Army. Now that civilian
was but newly connected by marriage with the colonel of the regiment,
and outcry was made from quarters least anticipated by Ortheris, and, in
the end, he was forced, lest a worse thing should happen, to dispose at
ridiculously unremunerative rates of as promising a small terrier as
ever graced one end of a leading string. The purchase-money was barely
sufficient for one small outbreak which led him to the guard-room. He
escaped, however, with nothing worse than a severe reprimand, and a few
hours of punishment drill. Not for nothing had he acquired the
reputation of being 'the best soldier of his inches' in the regiment.
Mulvaney had taught personal cleanliness and efficiency as the first
articles of his companions' creed. 'A dhirty man,' he was used to say,
in the speech of his kind, 'goes to Clink for a weakness in the knees,
an' is coort-martialled for a pair av socks missin'; but a clane man,
such as is an ornament to his service--a man whose buttons are gold,
whose coat is wax upon him, an' whose 'coutrements are widout a speck--
THAT man may, spakin' in reason, do fwhat he likes an' dhrink from day
to divil. That's the pride av bein' dacint.'
We sat together, upon a day, in the shade of a ravine far from the
barracks, where a watercourse used to run in rainy weather. Behind us
was the scrub jungle, in which jackals, peacocks, the gray wolves of the
North-Western Provinces, and occasionally a tiger estrayed from Central
India, were supposed to dwell. In front lay the cantonment, glaring
white under a glaring sun; and on either side ran the broad road that
led to Delhi.
It was the scrub that suggested to my mind the wisdom of Mulvaney taking
a day's leave and going upon a shooting-tour. The peacock is a holy bird
throughout India, and he who slays one is in danger of being mobbed by
the nearest villagers; but on the last occasion that Mulvaney had gone
forth, he had contrived, without in the least offending local religious
susceptibilities, to return with six beautiful peacock skins which he
sold to profit. It seemed just possible then--
'But fwhat manner av use is ut to me goin' out widout a dhrink? The
ground's powdher-dhry underfoot, an' ut gets unto the throat fit to
kill,' wailed Mulvaney, looking at me reproachfully. 'An' a peacock is
not a bird you can catch the tail av onless ye run. Can a man run on
wather--an' jungle-wather too?'
Ortheris had considered the question in all its bearings. He spoke,
chewing his pipe-stem meditatively the while:
'Go forth, return in glory,
To Clusium's royal 'ome:
An' round these bloomin' temples 'ang
The bloomin' shields o' Rome.
You better go. You ain't like to shoot yourself--not while there's a
chanst of liquor. Me an' Learoyd'll stay at 'ome an' keep shop--'case o'
anythin' turnin' up. But you go out with a gas-pipe gun an' ketch the
little peacockses or somethin'. You kin get one day's leave easy as
winkin'. Go along an' get it, an' get peacockses or somethin'.'
'Jock,' said Mulvaney, turning to Learoyd, who was half asleep under the
shadow of the bank. He roused slowly.
'Sitha, Mulvaaney, go,' said he.
And Mulvaney went; cursing his allies with Irish fluency and barrack-
room point.
'Take note,' said he, when he had won his holiday, and appeared dressed
in his roughest clothes with the only other regimental fowling-piece in
his hand. 'Take note, Jock, an' you Orth'ris, I am goin' in the face av
my own will--all for to please you. I misdoubt anythin' will come av
permiscuous huntin' afther peacockses in a desolit lan'; an' I know that
I will lie down an' die wid thirrrst. Me catch peacockses for you, ye
lazy scutts--an' be sacrificed by the peasanthry--Ugh!'
He waved a huge paw and went away.
At twilight, long before the appointed hour, he returned empty-handed,
much begrimed with dirt.
'Peacockses?' queried Ortheris from the safe rest of a barrack-room
table whereon he was smoking cross-legged, Learoyd fast asleep on a
bench.
'Jock,' said Mulvaney without answering, as he stirred up the sleeper.
'Jock, can ye fight? Will ye fight?'
Very slowly the meaning of the words communicated itself to the half-
roused man. He understood--and again--what might these things mean?
Mulvaney was shaking him savagely. Meantime the men in the room howled
with delight. There was war in the confederacy at last--war and the
breaking of bonds.
Barrack-room etiquette is stringent. On the direct challenge must follow
the direct reply. This is more binding than the ties of tried
friendship. Once again Mulvaney repeated the question. Learoyd answered
by the only means in his power, and so swiftly that the Irishman had
barely time to avoid the blow. The laughter around increased. Learoyd
looked bewilderedly at his friend--himself as greatly bewildered.
Ortheris dropped from the table because his world was falling.
'Come outside,' said Mulvaney, and as the occupants of the barrack-room
prepared joyously to follow, he turned and said furiously, 'There will
be no fight this night--onless any wan av you is wishful to assist. The
man that does, follows on.'
No man moved. The three passed out into the moonlight, Learoyd fumbling
with the buttons of his coat. The parade-ground was deserted except for
the scurrying jackals. Mulvaney's impetuous rush carried his companions
far into the open ere Learoyd attempted to turn round and continue the
discussion.
'Be still now. 'Twas my fault for beginnin' things in the middle av an
end, Jock. I should ha' comminst wid an explanation; but Jock, dear, on
your sowl are ye fit, think you, for the finest fight that iver was--
betther than fightin' me? Considher before ye answer.'
